Second Chance in Life (when Air is taken away from you)

Bout 3 month ago I cough a cough that should have been treated promptly. I took it lightly. Saying time isn't enough, and every one else seems to be of higher priority. Took me about a month until I realized that my cough didn't go away.

I was at a junction to see if I needed further medical help. I chose to go to the nearest government hosp to get treatment.

They promptly check my x-ray and instantly check for TB while treating me with antibiotics. Took about 2 weeks of treatment and at the same time going to work with a mask on my face to shield others. Results showed negative for TB and the coughing stopped during the day.

Until one night I started coughing and had a fever. There the question of going back to the government hosp or to get private medical attention. Its a one hour plus drive alone for me to get medical attention, but it would save my life. I arrived at the hospital's emergency room to quickly get a specialist view of my situation. The recommendation is for me to get warded. I tried to justify that I am ok but the the fact remains, I have been coughing for the longest of time and I have a fever on me.

Luckily I am covered by the insurance company so that didn't bother the doctor to test what needed to be tested. Standard were the X-Ray, phlegm and blood samples. All the things I did for the past 2 weeks at the government hosp in 3 hours. Later they recommended for CT scan, usually to get a better picture if there's any irregularities. Last they needed to put a scope into my lungs which needed me to fast for at least 8 hours before the operation.

Before the operation they gave me antibiotics through the drips. This was quite heavy and my fever continued even after paracetamol was given. Nebulizer help but it made me cough even worse until the point my ribs cant take it any more. To add matter worse the more I cough the heavier the head aches I get.

After the operation theatre things felt well until I was given two things, nebulizer and antibiotics. I start getting fevers and the doctor suggested to cut the nebulizer but it didn't reach the nurses that night. What happened next were a string of events like a sequence of dominoes dropping one after the other.

I start getting chest pains after nebulizer and I took all my meds one after the other, I started to cough very hard until my hands and feet start to feel numb. I had trouble breathing on my right chest and I keep my breathing rhythm but it was hard since I started to have a running nose. In seconds I cant use my nose to breath at all. Trying desperately not to cough anymore, I started to feel the numbness in my fingers grow up until my wrists, from my toes to my ankle. They checked my O2 levels which were showing I have sufficient levels of O2 in my blood. They recommend me to relax as the numbness will subside if I were not so anxious.

My situation was I can't exhale as much as I can inhale. This was the trouble that made me cough. My body desperately tries to release the CO2 in the blood but my lungs are not able to exhume as much leaving most of the CO2 in the muscles that moves the most.

Now when I couldn't breathe, my fingers and toes are numbing to the point that it cramps my fingers, a slight cough caused enough headache to knock me into cramps all through out my body, hearing nothing is wrong is plain out wrong. How could I relax? By this time i've been breathing heavily for over an hour, my heart was pumping heavily and I tried to relax slowly. This made the numbness climb up to my head and almost reaching all over my face. I thought that was it, this could be the end, I'm trying to relax and at the same time I can feel that things were tightening, from my arms and legs to my face. Some how I remembered all the things said before your soul is taken away from your body. The devils will appear in front of you in the form of your past family members, trying desperately to trick you to hang for this world and not the hereafter. Like a voice going through a checklist... I don't see any devils. I say to myself, its not your time yet then, things are going to be ok.

Started to hold my breath. felt numb almost every part of my body.... I asked my brother in law to assist me to the toilet. It took me 20 minutes just to find which nerves I need to control to take a piss..... Talk about the things you take for granted every time you piss.... later my numbness and cramps slowly subsides.... but it left me with the fear that I could have not been so lucky.

For the days that followed, doctor prescribed me another set of antibiotics and checked if they were going to cause me any reaction like what I previously experienced. It also helped that my lungs started to recover and the air volumed showed minor improvements but the situation improved tremendously. On the fourth day I had been discharged and on my way home with a huge bag of medicines for the months to come.

I am grateful that God had given me a second chance. God has shown me the value of the most precious gift.... the air and how fragile we are. We can fail even when we have everything working in place. Family and how they are there when you need them.... doctors and nurses who I cannot even afford to thank them enough for their dedication to their line of duty.

I now ask myself, I could have easily died that night. I was even embracing and waiting for my time.... the fact that God didn't take me away only means that I have not completed my task here just yet. I hope to know which task is that for me exactly.

Happy birthday Aqil Idraki

Its been a year of being a dad!!!! :) Celebrating the best time of my life +1 :) I cant offer you anything better than a father's consent of a life filled with happiness and joy, and the best of health. To my loving wife and child, you guys are my world. Happy birthday Aqil Idraki :D

Second Chances :)

Today marks another milestone of my life. Time to repay all the kindness and love and support my loving wife who has been restless in taking care of Aqil and me. During the night I felt worried about today, Aqil would be left alone at home with out his mommy or daddy, and im worried about his safety. I took for granted that my wife would be a house wife. Its so convenient to have her home watching aqil and the other kids. Well today, it was a test of faith. And I let go of every thing and let Allah handle every thing.

It made me wonder about second chances. I believe that life is a chance that Allah gave for us to feel and act upon it. We are given the chance to correct, to learn and to feel. Allah will then take away all the things that was given to us, only to resurrect us in akhirat to give us the second chance to live for eternity. Then and only then would we cherish out given chance, and be truly great full.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I parked my car and waited for my son and lovely wife to return. Nothing else has ever felt better than seeing them both safe and smiling as I picked my son out of the car and hug him tight. I am glad she got a second chance. I pray she'll make it through, and that she'll excel to be the best. Now its my time to repay her.

28 years ago: A Tale for my son

28 years ago, my father must have been thrilled as I was when I knew my son was safely delivered.

28 years ago, papa never knew that I'd be a happy dad like he was. So today, I guest I'll be happy to know that even after years and years from now, I hope my son would be ready to take responsibility as my father and his father before him in raising a family.

For all the good things I have learned, I could never have happened as successful as it has been if it wasn't for his wisdom to teach while he was alive, and even years after he had passed away.

Im still learning from my late father, in raising a family , and be happy as a man husband and father.

His greatest fear was seeing his sons and daughters pass away before him, I now understand how much he feared. I too pray that my sons and daughters will survive after me... and I'll do all in my power to ensure they receive the best of things and that they embrace Allah the almighty.

"Do what I say, don't do what i do"- Mohd Zin Arshad.
Happy birthday me!

Revealing the Gaps

I left blogging a while ago. Partly because things I did cant be shared with anyone. Have you ever held something by your self that in the end it took a huge part of you?

That was what happened to me. In the end, I chose to lay low, settle down, and pretend to be nobody.

I switch from a dream job to a 8 to 5:45 desk job. Relocated, gain a wonderful baby boy that cheers up my days. The trade was ideal. But the sacrifice was undeniable.

Career wise I'm gliding through the wind, but personally... apart of me always dreams of the achievements I've could have done with less pay....

But the fact is, I could not ask someone else to sacrifice for me let alone sacrifice with me. Thus sacrifice must be done on one's own accord.

I'll tell the story of my adventure one day... maybe it would be an entertaining story that would inspire others to live their lives the way they want it to be.

Money aint everything. Coz if it is.... I wouldn't have spent a single dime. We trade money for things that we require... it isnt money that we require... its just that most of the things nowadays require money.... I dont have to tell that to any one. But what I can tell you is .... the amount of money we require totally depends on us. And not some one else who says we need a mountain of wealth.

Wealth ain't just about dollars and cents. its also about dignity, love, honesty, culture and knowledge. Most people just dont know the value of these things, thats why they trade it for the lowest price they can get out of it.

I wish to do what Im passionate about while getting paid to do it, one day.... one day... I hope i'll achieve that.

But till that day comes, I shall be helping others gain back part of their lives away from the merciless technology they call IT systems.

Im back :)

Took me too long to stay under... I am going to start blogging again... we all made the decisions for the best reasons. Well me I had to make them for the ones I love.

Its been along while since Ive blogged. I guess.... Its time I start for my son's future reference.

"Harimau mati tinggalkan belang, Manusia mati tinggalkan blog".... bwahahahhahah!!!!

happy bday n thank you

Hi fellas ;)

Thank you so much for the birthday wish this year.

I wish this year would be filled with wonderful things to come.

Like I said earlier in my life its now how old is how young you feel ;D

Things are coming and I should be ready ;) i wish all of you a pleasant year ahead and do take good care of your health.

Once again Thank you every one ;)