If walls could speak....

This is a personal blog regarding my own views and experience. Primarily to mirror myself in time. You are welcomed to read, but you may need more insight to understand whats in here. Life can Push us around, it can also play you around. We all have difficulties in life, but some time its best to reflect on what we ourselves has gone through to understand the magnitude of our journey in this short life. Enjoy! :)

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Second Chance in Life (when Air is taken away from you)

Bout 3 month ago I cough a cough that should have been treated promptly. I took it lightly. Saying time isn't enough, and every one else seems to be of higher priority. Took me about a month until I realized that my cough didn't go away.

I was at a junction to see if I needed further medical help. I chose to go to the nearest government hosp to get treatment.

They promptly check my x-ray and instantly check for TB while treating me with antibiotics. Took about 2 weeks of treatment and at the same time going to work with a mask on my face to shield others. Results showed negative for TB and the coughing stopped during the day.

Until one night I started coughing and had a fever. There the question of going back to the government hosp or to get private medical attention. Its a one hour plus drive alone for me to get medical attention, but it would save my life. I arrived at the hospital's emergency room to quickly get a specialist view of my situation. The recommendation is for me to get warded. I tried to justify that I am ok but the the fact remains, I have been coughing for the longest of time and I have a fever on me.

Luckily I am covered by the insurance company so that didn't bother the doctor to test what needed to be tested. Standard were the X-Ray, phlegm and blood samples. All the things I did for the past 2 weeks at the government hosp in 3 hours. Later they recommended for CT scan, usually to get a better picture if there's any irregularities. Last they needed to put a scope into my lungs which needed me to fast for at least 8 hours before the operation.

Before the operation they gave me antibiotics through the drips. This was quite heavy and my fever continued even after paracetamol was given. Nebulizer help but it made me cough even worse until the point my ribs cant take it any more. To add matter worse the more I cough the heavier the head aches I get.

After the operation theatre things felt well until I was given two things, nebulizer and antibiotics. I start getting fevers and the doctor suggested to cut the nebulizer but it didn't reach the nurses that night. What happened next were a string of events like a sequence of dominoes dropping one after the other.

I start getting chest pains after nebulizer and I took all my meds one after the other, I started to cough very hard until my hands and feet start to feel numb. I had trouble breathing on my right chest and I keep my breathing rhythm but it was hard since I started to have a running nose. In seconds I cant use my nose to breath at all. Trying desperately not to cough anymore, I started to feel the numbness in my fingers grow up until my wrists, from my toes to my ankle. They checked my O2 levels which were showing I have sufficient levels of O2 in my blood. They recommend me to relax as the numbness will subside if I were not so anxious.

My situation was I can't exhale as much as I can inhale. This was the trouble that made me cough. My body desperately tries to release the CO2 in the blood but my lungs are not able to exhume as much leaving most of the CO2 in the muscles that moves the most.

Now when I couldn't breathe, my fingers and toes are numbing to the point that it cramps my fingers, a slight cough caused enough headache to knock me into cramps all through out my body, hearing nothing is wrong is plain out wrong. How could I relax? By this time i've been breathing heavily for over an hour, my heart was pumping heavily and I tried to relax slowly. This made the numbness climb up to my head and almost reaching all over my face. I thought that was it, this could be the end, I'm trying to relax and at the same time I can feel that things were tightening, from my arms and legs to my face. Some how I remembered all the things said before your soul is taken away from your body. The devils will appear in front of you in the form of your past family members, trying desperately to trick you to hang for this world and not the hereafter. Like a voice going through a checklist... I don't see any devils. I say to myself, its not your time yet then, things are going to be ok.

Started to hold my breath. felt numb almost every part of my body.... I asked my brother in law to assist me to the toilet. It took me 20 minutes just to find which nerves I need to control to take a piss..... Talk about the things you take for granted every time you piss.... later my numbness and cramps slowly subsides.... but it left me with the fear that I could have not been so lucky.

For the days that followed, doctor prescribed me another set of antibiotics and checked if they were going to cause me any reaction like what I previously experienced. It also helped that my lungs started to recover and the air volumed showed minor improvements but the situation improved tremendously. On the fourth day I had been discharged and on my way home with a huge bag of medicines for the months to come.

I am grateful that God had given me a second chance. God has shown me the value of the most precious gift.... the air and how fragile we are. We can fail even when we have everything working in place. Family and how they are there when you need them.... doctors and nurses who I cannot even afford to thank them enough for their dedication to their line of duty.

I now ask myself, I could have easily died that night. I was even embracing and waiting for my time.... the fact that God didn't take me away only means that I have not completed my task here just yet. I hope to know which task is that for me exactly.

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